Goals

This semester was all about balance for me.  It's often a challenge to make choices about how to use my time, and I don't anticipate that getting any easier.  But here's a check-in with the goals I set at the beginning of the semester:

"Ask someone (or multiple someones) out on a date."  Well, hm, this went a little differently than I expected.  I now have a boyfriend, which did involve some asking on my part, but I didn't exactly do much to change the dating culture at EMU, which was the original purpose. Let's just say I'm pretty happy with how this turned out, but the goal of getting to know people more intentionally still stands.  

"Dumpster dive!!"  Only a few times, but yes!  Getting random ingredients from the dumpster inspires me to be more creative with cooking.  I'm looking forward to more of this next semester.  

"Spend just as much time in other people's apartments as my own."  Not even close.  

"Meet some freshmen/transfers."  Mmm, yeah, a few.  Still, not eating in the caf very regularly means there's a much bigger percentage of people I don't even recognize than in previous years.  

"Do crazy awesome research."  Got some water sampling data and finally feel like that project is on its feet and I know what I'm doing.  Also, killed some goldfish in the name of science.  

"Find and apply to some internships for next summer."  Gahhh.  I've looked.  And I've been overwhelmed.  The problem is that I want an internship in order to help me find out what I'm interested in (or not), but a lot of them are such specific projects that you kind of have to know going in what you want to do.  Anyway, I'm hoping to have more time to devote to this during Christmas break.  

"Cook at least five completely new dishes."  Oh yeah.  Success.  

"Get involved in one new thing on or off campus."  EMSWA (Eastern Mennonite Student Women's Association) is one of the highlights of my week.  It's just great.  And I've been semi-involved in a few other new things too.  

"Make time for God."  Not really.  I should probably write God into my planner.  

"Give freely."  Not sure how to evaluate this one, but again, I'd most likely say not really.  The good thing about not meeting all my goals is that I still have something to do with the rest of my life...

"This Is Water"

The first week back at school after Thanksgiving break, I was feeling very little motivation to do my work and stay engaged.  I spent a lot of time doing what I like to call "destressing activities," like cooking, knitting, journaling, and listening to music.  I'm more into the swing of things now, and my workload seems manageable (just turned in a big paper for biochem and now starting to work on a race and gender project that actually has me excited).  I still can't quite believe that the semester is just about over.  I'm glad to wrap things up, but I'm also intimidated by next spring's classes and I'm wondering what other new things spring semester will bring, as I'm always surprised by how different each semester is.   Something that's been weighing on me is the thought of finding an internship for this coming summer, but I haven't been able to put enough time into looking/applying yet.  

At the encouragement of a friend I watched David Foster Wallace's commencement speech at Kenyon College in which he talked about learning how to avoid our "default" settings.  We experience everything through the first person, through our own personal lens, which gives us the idea that we're the center of the universe, and we have to be pretty intentional if we're going to act like we truly believe that's not the case.  When I was feeling all disenchanted with school, it struck me as silly to get caught up in my meaningless assignments and obligations.  I went to a vigil for the International Day of Solidarity with Palestine that only reiterated that there are so many more important things to worry about that any of what I have going on.  In a way, this was me justifying my lack of desire to get things done, and obviously, me caring less about homework is not going to bring about change in the world.  Still, it's a valid concept.  How do we think outside of ourselves in a more constructive way?  It's selfish for me to complain about my own little problems, but I don't really know how to be selfless.  And I'm not sure what the balance is between being content with things as they are and wanting to do something more.  

Anyway, life is good, at least for me right here right now.