New

Whelpsk, I´m a little overwhelmed by everything here.  So much that´s new and different.  Crowded buses and colorful markets.  Visiting the huge presidential palace and then seeing my host mom´s earrings being stolen from her ears as we walked.  My host mom Olga has been very hospitable, but even the simplest of interactions takes so much more effort in Spanish.  When people are talking directly to me, I can usually understand pretty well, but when Olga had her relatives over or when we went out with the neighbors and everyone is talking, I tend to get tired of trying and tune it out. Anyway, I´m trying to learn to laugh at myself and take it all in stride.  More later.

Borderlands

I used to think that I was just going on cross-cultural to Guatemala.  Yes, there were things tacked on the ends of the semester, but I sort of wrote them off and didn't think much about the time I'd spend on the border and in Chiapas.  Silly me.  This week has been a huge experience.  Not to mention that it feels like way more than a week has passed. 

To put it plainly, I might as well have known nothing about immigration before coming here.  We've heard so many different perspectives on why immigration happens and how to respond to it, but it'll be a while before I can sort it all out in my head.  The hardest part is, there isn't anyone besides ourselves to blame: the policies are ours and the border wall is ours!  Throughout this week, I've been able to see the sheer humanity of everyone involved.  The border patrol and the migrants alike are just trying to do their jobs in order to support their families.  Joel shared an e.e. cummings poem during orientation that I thought really spoke to this.

     Me up at does

     out of the floor

     quietly Stare

     a poisoned mouse

     still who alive

     is asking What

     have i done that

     You wouldn't have

In addition to learning about some of the issues, we've been trying to put ourselves in the place of the migrants.  One day we bought groceries for three meals on a maquila (factory) salary.  Another day we hiked through the thorns and brush of the desert and climbed up on the border wall.  Still, it's obvious that we can never know what immigrants really face.  When we climb the fence, it's a joke; when we hike the desert, it's in daylight and in the middle of winter.  We've gone back and forth between the U.S. and Mexico several times now, and it's ridiculous how easily we, as American citizens (and mostly white), can cross.  We spent one afternoon in the very tourist-oriented city of Nogales, and instead of being discriminated against because of our race, we stick out like a sore, rich thumb.  I've been trying to pick up on the culture and trying to use my Spanish, but I can't exactly blend in no matter what I do.  So yeah, it's been eye-opening!  There's so much more we could learn here, but I'm excited to see how this all ties in with what we'll learn and do in Guatemala and Chiapas. 

Anticipation

Only one week left until I leave!

These things scare me:

• Forgetting something I need.  I know there's going to be a store right across the street, but packing light makes me nervous.  
• Not having access to my computer, my music, my phone.  A little pathetic maybe, but it's true. 
• Being awkward with my host family.  Or offending them by accident. 
• Not getting along with my host family for some other reason.  Like, if they're super religious or super loud or super some-other-thing-I-can't-tolerate-all-that-well-for-long-periods-of-time.  
• Not using my Spanish as much as I could for fear of sounding dumb.  And then coming back not fluent. 

P.S.  If anyone wants to mail me something while I'm in Guatemala, go right ahead!  :)  Just be aware it may take a while to get there, so plan ahead.  Here's the address:
       CASAS

         Ruth Maust

         Apdo. 11, Periférico, zona 11

         Ciudad de Guatemala, Guatemala

If I Could Have Just One Wish...

It would be the coolest thing ever to know everyone in the world.  All 7 billion-ish of them!  But considering it would take roughly 111 years just to glance at each person for half a second, not factoring in the population growth that would've happened in that time...  Yeah, not really possible.  

On a smaller scale, it would still be cool to know every person in Indianapolis (about a million if you count the suburbs).  Even if I only knew them by name, wouldn't that be something to be able to greet every single person I pass on the street?  Or to recognize every cashier, waitress, and driver waiting next to me at a stoplight?   

Then I get to thinking about EMU.  Much less impossible.  Only about 900 traditional undergrad students, and most of them pretty friendly.  I know a fraction of these people well and a good number more names and faces.  But how many of the people I know by name would I approach if I saw them in a coffeeshop or store or restaurant?  What would it mean to actually talk to all of the people whose names I know?  What would it look like to be able to sit down with any one of those 900 fellow students and have a meaningful conversation?  

There is in fact a limit to how many people we can have close relationships with as well as a limit to how many acquaintances we can actually keep up with.  It's impossible to sustain 900 relationships with any kind of depth.  So the question is: do you have to know a person well to be able to talk about something important, something that matters?  If not (and I think not), how do you go about having such conversations?  How do you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough with an acquaintance to get past small talk?  Some people can do it naturally; I am not one of them.  But if it's possible to learn, I want to do it. 

Pilot

I decided to join the crowd and make a blog mostly because I'm spending this spring in Guatemala, and I'm of course going to want to tell you all about it.  And let me just say, I'd rather share stories and show you pictures than answer that loathsome question "How was your trip?"  If that's what you really want to know, well, you can have your answer right now: my semester in Guatemala is going to be challenging, surprising, enlightening, and oh so amazing!  Anyway, I'll also throw out some non-Guatemala-related thoughts, stories, and wild ideas from time to time.  Welcome to my journey.  :)